OUR FIRST DOWN TOGETHER

Money, thats what keeps me up at night. I don't know why, God has never let me down, yet I still worry. Since taking custody of my grandchildren last week, my checking account has taken a significant hit.

First of all, I do have a significant other. We live together, are not married, but we do observe God's laws and not intimate. I know this is extremely difficult for him, and it would not surprise me in the least if he is having an affair, probably 2. But I must follow God's law until we get married.

Of course I worry about him leaving, we are coming up on our 9th anniversary. Why won't we get married, I don't know, maybe I am afraid of commitment, maybe God hasn't released me to marry, that i leave in God's hands. We have tried to break up many times, but God always steps in.

One night I was DONE, we had been arguing for days, and we were on the front porch, i was ready to throw in the towel, he can have the house and everything, just let me out. As I was saying the words... "Lets just solve this now you can have..." He was looking into the house through the window and said "What's that?" Something was flying around the living room, and my grandson was asleep on the couch. He opened the door and exclaimed "It's a bat!" I looked and sure enough there was a bat flying in circles around the living room ceiling, with the boy on the sofa. Needless to say, the conversation ended immediately.

Now you might think I'm crazy, but c'mon a bat! At that moment! Hadn't seen one before and haven't seen one since. GOD STOPPED THAT CONVERSATION!

Anyway, I will refer to him as Papa going forward, thats what the kids call him. He makes major contributions to the household, but I still worry.

Back to the money. In the past 10 days I have spent:
$80 on clothes at the thrift store - because their clothes were either too small or raggedy, the 3 boys had 4 pair of underwear between them.
$300 on groceries, stuff for household and Easter

They still need shoes, more food, and only God knows what else.

Mind you, none of this was in my budget and my bills are still due.

I don't get paid again until May 15 and I need at least $1200 before then.

Will God make a way? Absoutely! Am I worried? Absolutely! Do I believe? Absolutely!

Here's what I know, God will provide. That's all I know.

Dear God, its me, Judy again.
Lord I thank you for just one more day, I thank you because all the children had a Good Day at school yesterday. I thank you for blessing me with their laughter. You have never let me down, You show me that you love me. Today is a dark day for me, as I worry about the bills, I know in my heart that you will make a way, as you have done so many times before. I try to just give you my problems, but then I take them back and carry them around. You know I am so used to trying to be in control. I know You are working on this with me, and I submit them again to you. I know that you have prepared me for this, and You wouldn't have given it to me if I wasn't ready. I need you today, to calm my mind and my spirit. Satan sees a weak spot and I ask you to stand between us. I need to be strong for You, the children, my daughter, and now the person reading this. I am reaching out my hand, please take it and lead me back to the path. May Your will be done. Amen

Well, I really have to go, more laundry - my own, and I actually need to work on one of my businesses. Generate some income.

Remember, God will make a way, in His own time, in His own way. Wait til I tell you about The Woman with the oil lamp. My own biblical story come true.